Wednesday, 24 June 2015

Confessions of a Mother to be...

Confessions of a mother to be...is a compilation of instances shared during some interviews on female child, female foeticide and son obsession in India. 




I? I was a mother to be.
Mother to my dead children.
Three in total. All daughters.

I? I am a dreamer.
I dream of them all. My daughters.
Beautiful, with silk like hair,
blackberry eyes.

I? I am the guilty.
Guilty owner of “a useless womb.
Of a vagina that holds on to wrong elements”- he says.
Guilty of my womanhood, I feel.

I? I seek forgiveness.
From my daughters.
I tell them that I cried.
And I pleaded and begged.
And even got beaten up.
To save their life and mine.

I? I am a ‘could have been’ mother.
Of my dead children- forgiving even in death.
They kiss me, one by one.
My daughters.
Beautiful, with silk like hair, blackberry eyes.
Disappearing in the darkness of my womb,
they dissolve yet again.

I? I am a guilty-coward-mother to be.
Of my fourth child.
And I hope and pray...

this time, it be a son.